it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
