You can't motorboat a personality
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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