remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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