im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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