can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
