Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
