Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
