you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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