it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
