it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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