my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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