You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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