What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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