You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
