Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
