need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
