North Korea, Best Korea!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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