is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
