Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
