Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
