I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
