Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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