Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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