This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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