I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
