I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
