so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
