As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
