I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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