She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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