Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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