beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
