it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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