I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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