Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your cock deserves a montage
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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