Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
