This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
