you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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