I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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