We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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