is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You left your phone here
Wait...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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