I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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