the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
