I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
