Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
