just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
