What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
