i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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