awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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