Buhtt sex?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
