Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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