It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They took my balls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
