he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
