Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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