Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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