hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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