Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
