my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
is this the sara with the beer cane?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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