Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
