Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
