Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
