We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
